The Official Secret Handbook for Illegal Immigrants

The Official Secret Handook for Illegal Immigrants

Available at a Steal Price for a Limited Time!

C'mon, you stole your way into the United States. Steal this book at the cheap Amazon price for a limited time only.

We usually sell this book from $200 to $500 to prospective illegals in Latin America, Europe, Asia, Africa and the Caribbean. 

Special limited time price on Amazon.com of only $14.95.

More than 200 pages of advice and illustrations and helpful advertisers from such companies as "Documents R Us."

NOTE: It is forbidden for Americans to buy this book!!!!!!!!!!!

The American Secret Society of Illegals is working with the new Obama administration and the Democratic Congress to impose severe penalties on Americans who buy this book.

It is for ILLEGALS only!

Here is an excerpt of advice from this valuable manual:
CHAPTER ONE

Before You Go


The Illegal: How much money should I take?

Our Advice Line: Nothing! None needed! The American people will provide for you. What a country!

Now, you may have become discouraged from those news reports which state that illegals from far away lands such as China have to pay smuggler fees ranging up to $40,000 in order to be escorted to the Promised Land. You say that your family could manage to borrow that amount but that would stretch their resources to the limit, leaving nothing for you to take along to get you started. You wonder how you could survive during your first year in America. No need to worry, friend. If so, we would have provided a checklist here of how to get the necessities during your first months in America. BUT IT'S NOT NECESSARY!

Once you get into the United States, various government agencies will insist upon showering you with money, food stamps and a home, even finding a place for you to stay, until you have acclimatized yourself to your new surroundings. Therefore, we will restrict our advice here to insisting that you learn one key phase before you go (in the financial area. There is another key phrase discussed below.) That phrase is:

“Where is the welfare office, please?

BUY AT:
http://www.amazon.com/Official-Secret-Handbook-Illegal-Immigrants/dp/1438264313/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221643147&sr=8-1


Buy many now at this incredibly low price and send them to your relatives who want to come over for the easy life and take advantage of the coming Obama amnesty for ALL illegals, to create millions of new Democrat votes!/div>

Yes, dear Muslims, it is difficult living with the flagrant ways of Western women, but with Obama with the White House talking of collective responsibility, can our Sharia law of strict Muslim rule be far behind?

2009 Presidential Ball

Welcome to the 2009 Presidential Ball

American Secret Society of Illegals

We cordially invite all members of the American Secret Society of Illegals (whose dues are paid up in full, of course) to our 2009 Presidential Ball to welcome the swearing in of Barak HUSSEIN Obama as the nation's 44th president.

We have secured a choice spot in the main ballroom of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Washington D.C. headquarters.

We have rented out 200 ICE agents to act as security, and another 100 good-tempered ICE agents who have agreed to be handcuffed in posts scattered around the hall, bearing signs: "Waiting to be deported back to Europe/America, from whence my relatives came!"

Isn't that clever? They agreed to play along with our little joke that once we illegals take power, we will deport European Americans here legally back to their old continent, and African Americans to Africa. A few Native American ICE agents will wear signs agreeing to voluntary deportation back to Siberia, once the land bridge arises again.

Entry fee: $1,000 per ticket.

Barack and Michelle Obama GUARANTEED to make an appearance to salute America's illegals.

The ball opens at 10 p.m. and runs to 6 a.m., with liquor sold throughout. This is clearly illegal, but hey, ain't that what we all about?

Winning custom -- The Baby Orgy

This has the added benefit of sneaking two dozen of your infant relatives into the country at the same time!

Entertainment will be provided by Loni Wrendon, a Canadian who has tried to get her singing career going illegally in the United States for 14 years. Give her a round of applause!!!!!!!

EMCEE OF BALL - THE ESTIMABLE DR. JUAN MUHAMMED KIM

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR - ASSI

OTHER MEMBERS OF ASSI'S EXECUTIVE BOARD IN THEIR BALL COSTUMES SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW THEM AND BE ABLE TO THANK THEM FOR ALL THEY HAVE DONE FOR ILLEGALS OVER THE YEARS

Blue State Surge Against Illegals

Question: Dr. Muhammed Kim,

I am confused. Barak Obama won the election, he promised us immigration reform, but yet officials of Montgomery County, Maryland, a solidly Democratic state, are promising to "crack down" (what an awful term when directed against oneself) on illegals. I put in the top paragraphs here:

"For years, mainstream Montgomery County has been generally accepting of illegal immigrants, and county leaders followed suit, pledging not to enforce immigration laws even as police agencies elsewhere in the region began to do so.

But public sentiment appears to be shifting in Montgomery, driven less by ideology than by alarm over rising crime and the recent slayings of a 14-year-old honor student on a county transit bus and a 63-year-old woman in her Bethesda home.

"People who are very, very tolerant want to see some changes," said County Council member Marc Elrich (D-At Large), one of five council members who said in interviews that public opinion has shifted in recent months."

How can this be? Dan. G. Illegal since 2002.

Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim answers: Do not let such minor blips trouble your soul, dear illegal.  Barak is safely in our camp. He knows that getting us legalized and voters ensures the dominance of the Democratic Party for the next 50 years, or until our policies collapse the country, which ever comes first. Then, onward to Canada and Australia.