Obama's Uncle is Illegal Alien Arrested on DUI

Obama's Uncle a Proud U.S. Illegal Alien Since 1992

We at the American Secret Society of Illegals note with immense satisfaction that Onyango Obama, pictured above, who is from Kenya and is known as the president's Uncle Omar on his father's side, has been arrested for driving while intoxicated in Framingham, Mass.

(http://www.boston.com/news/local/massachusetts/articles/2011/08/31/obamas_uncle_called_a_fugitive_from_deportation_since_1992/)

We applaud Mr. Obama the elder for his initiative of journeying to the United States illegally all the way from Kenya, Africa, but we take note that he did so with the assistance of American Secret Society of Illegals. He contacted our Kenyan branch before beginning his trip and purchased the guide for African illegals and special documents and guides that would help him on his trip.

Plus, ASSI showed him how to apply successfully for welfare as soon as he got it. Please note that Mr. Obama had a legal Social Security card and legal driver's license. How to get them is all detailed in our fabulous guide, The Official Secret Handbook for Illegal Immigrants."

We are giddy to announce that a Kindle version for just $1.99 will soon be available on Amazon Kindle in just a few days, probably by first week of September. ONLY NON-AMERICANS ASPIRING TO BE BECOME ILLEGAL ALIENS MAY PURCHASE IT!!! Look out for this book and grab it soon.

Mr Obama the senior is paid-up dues paying number of ASSI, joining our beloved assistance organization on June 22, 1995.

He purchased six copies of the first edition of our assistance guide, The Official Secret Handbook for Illegal Immigrants, in 1996 and sent them to his relatives in Kenya, 23 of whom used it to get successfully to America. Remember that!!

Authorities make mumbled comments that Mr. Obama can be deported, but pay no attention to that. For only a DUI, c'mon!

Obama Administration Moves to "Admin" Amnesty

Amnesty is Coming!

Prepare for Next Great Wave of Illegals!!

Dear ASSI readers:

First, we always urge ASSI members to patronize our customers, such as the fabulous and totally trustworthy "document grouping center" which placed the advert at the top of this blog posting.

Secondly, good news! The Obama administration is proceeding to put in effect a de facto amnesty program in order to garner Hispanic support for the 2012 elections.

Money quote from the Arizona Central newspaper:

" The Obama administration’s recently announced administrative amnesty – a decision basically to stop taking enforcement action against non-criminal illegal immigrants – may severely undercut its legal challenge to SB 1070, Arizona’s heavily litigated anti-illegal immigration law."

SThis tremendous news not only undercuts the perfidious effects of Arizona's vile immigration law -- Can you believe it, that law treated illegals as does every other country in the world, instead of the great American model, no matter how an immigrant gets here, via visa that he outstays, across the Mexican desert or crossing from Canada, that's it. You can get a job, or better yet, U.S. government financial aid, ranging from a free house, welfare, food stamps and more -- but brings to Arizona the "administration amnesty" enjoyed by most other illegals across this great country.

The article goes on to say: "If immigration law violators cannot be processed in state court, the only option local police would have is to turn them over to the federal Immigration and Customs Enforcement agency. However, the director of ICE, John Morton, has recently issued two memos which, in essence, order ICE personnel not to take any enforcement action against any illegal immigrants without a serious criminal record. ICE officials are to exercise favorable “prosecutorial discretion” in virtually all other cases."

"It’s hard to supplant what, in essence, doesn’t exist. And with respect to non-criminal illegal immigrants, the Obama administration’s policies mean that, as a practical matter, federal enforcement doesn’t exist, despite the laws Congress has put on the books."

bRemember now, since federal lawyers have mostly succeeded in preventing states from imposing voter photo I.D. laws for the 2012 election, we now urge all ASSI members to register as voters as many times as you can to get ready for the historic re-election of Obama.

Also, get all of your relatives and friends to register as well. Remember, this can be done even in the same voting stations. You can threaten with a lawsuit any election monitor that tries to say you voted earlier, or mulitiple times, that same day by screaming he, as a Natural Born, is too racist to tell one illegal from another, even if you're an English or Canadian illegal.

Obama will push through the largest illegal immigrant amnesty program in history after he is safely reelected, to ensure permanent Democratic majorities, and we'll sure deliver on that, right folks?

We'll also, of course, vow to stop helping future illegals from setting up in style once they get here.

Yes, we promise!!!!!

Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah! Hah!

Police Arrest 7 Illegal Student Activist-Release Them All

It Pays to Be An ASSI Member

ICE Doesn't Dare Move on 7 Protestors

Dear members of American Secret Society of Illegals,

We have often encouraged you to "get out there" among the leaders and "Natural Borns" to make your outrage known about the federal government's refusal to grant us blanket amnesty.

We told you that U.S. society is too crippled morality to go after any of us. Well, on July 14, seven students at University of Berkeley staged a protest to demand amnesty.

Silicon Valley Mercury News:

"A UC Berkeley student senator and six other illegal immigrant students arrested at a San Bernardino rally Tuesday were released from custody early Wednesday without triggering a hold from Immigration and Customs Enforcement.

Friends were concerned the arrest of Cal political science student Ju Hong, 21, a graduate of Alameda High School, would trigger his deportation. Hong has lived in the East Bay since his family brought him here on a tourist visa from South Korea when he was 11.

Through the federal Secure Communities program, which has been implemented in all of California's counties, anyone arrested and booked in a county jail gets fingerprints sent to a federal database monitored by ICE agents."

See, fellow ASSI members: Nothing happened to these students at all . . . and nothing ever will.

As we point in an upcoming revision of the "The Secret Handbook for Illegal Immigrants," expected to released on Kindle in August, the United States is the only country in the world where illegals can flaunt authority and never get deported.

We're not talking about cases where an illegal is arrested, ICE discovers the suspect is illegal, but waves him away. No, we have growing numbers of young illegals who are "coming out" of the closet and announcing their illegal status.

The clever idea that these students have taken, and we wish ASSI would have thought of it first, is that they are simply innocent victims as their parents or other adult relatives took them to the United States at an early age, and therefore they shouldn't have to pay the price of being illegal.

Brilliant! It plays up to the moral ambiguity of the American psyche, especially exposing the jelly-like spine of the liberal.

Pray for an Obama re-election victory! If he does win again, we are going to mount a tremendous national campaign, financed in large part by Democrats, to demand amnesty for all illegals currently in the United States.

Just as our leaders did back in the 1986 national amnesty of President Reagan, we leaders from countries will solemnly promise to halt support for any future illegals and send word back home that no others will be able to slip invisibly in the sea of illegal and legal immigrants.

Of course, we'll break that vow immediately!!

Remember, it is not too early to start signing up to vote right now for the 2012 election, and by that, we means in as many polling places as possible, or as many times within on polling station.

Democrats have generally succeeded in halting the spread of states that require voter I.D. in order to cast ballots, so that it is important that you register as often as possible, especially in these months far before the election where monitoring is practically non-existent.

Thank you,

Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim, executive director

American Secret Society of Illegals

ICE agents interviewed the students, but did not file detainers against them, ICE spokeswoman Virginia Kice said in an emailed statement.