Russia Predicts Breakup of U.S. in 2010

Front Page, Wall Street Journal, Dec. 29, 2008

The WSJ runs a story about Prof. Igor Panarin, who says that he sees a "55%-45% right now that disintegration will occur.

"Mr. Panarin posits, in brief, that mass immigration, economic decline and moral degradation will trigger a civil war next fall and the collapse of the dollar. Around the end of June, 2010, or early July, he says, the U.S. will break into six pieces -- with Alaska reverting to Russian control."

The WSJ published a map of the six parts, with the West Coast coming under Chinese control, "the Texas Republic," which stretches as far east as Florida, becomes part of Mexico or falls under Mexican influence, and the NorthEast 'may join the European Union."

The American Secret Society of Illegal completely rejects this vision. Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim, Esq., executive director of ASSI, pictured here, explains why:

"First of all, it is ridiculous to think that China will grab all of the West coast when Hispanics already control 75% of southern California," Dr. Muhammed Kim says.

"Secondly, if the United States falls apart so soon, who will pay for the upkeep of illlegals? We cannot permit the collapse of the United States so soon and believe that this is only Russian propaganda, we hope, we hope, we hope."

Dr. Kim Muhammed said that before ASSI allows the disintegration of the United States, ASSI will have to have other Western States set up to provide the financial support that the USA has provided.

ASSI studies have shown the United Kingdom, weighed down by its own illegal and other immigration problem, will not be able to provide its expected share of support.

The main candidates are Canada, Australia and New Zealand but they lack the population and the gross domestic population to care for every illegal in the custom to which we have all become expected.

ASSI is studying whether a mandate of the United Nations may allow that world body to force oil rich, lightly populated states such as Saudi Arabia and Kuwait to turn over 90% of their revenue to ASSI and its subsidiaries in other nations of the world.

ASSi's legal team is also studying our options as to whether we can file a legal suit to call on the U.S. government to prevent its own collapse because of its adverse effect on ASSI members.

ASSI will discuss the possible collapse of the United States at its winter meeting at The Mirage hotel, Las Vegas, Feb. 24-27.
[NOTE] Places are filling up fast for this convention, but it's still possible to get the early registration discount if you act fast.
Special discount pricing at the Mirage is also available with the ASSI code: 062389666.

We also suggest that any ASSI members anxious about the collapse of the United States purchase a current copy at amazon.com of "The Official Secret Handbook for Illegal Immigrants." It will provide counsel for entering and prospering in other Western countries if the U.S. does indeed collapse.

No Chump Change for Illegals

It is often thought that illegals have to settle for the worst paying jobs in American society when they first arrive.

That is not the case at all!

If they come as the fifth, sixth or seventh wave of illegals in this family as Mr. Kim Shuk, South Korea,  pictured here, did.

Mr. Shuk was able to get a loan from his illegal predecessors and set up a successful telecommunications company, hiring fellow Korean illegals for the IT portion and Hispanic illegals for the grunt work.

It it not that Mr. Shuk could not find qualified Hispanic engineers, he just wanted to keep the high paying jobs for 'cousins" of his own country.

Mr. Shuk was left making $2 million a year and the Hispanics were making about as much in this piciure.

LESSON - ALL ILLEGALS DON'T STICK TOGETHER. MR. SHUK WAS NOT A MEMBER OF ASSI.

JOINT THE AMERICAN SECRET SOCIETY OF ILLEGALS SO THAT WE CAN HELP YOU, NO MATTER IF YOU ARE HISPANIC, ASIAN OR AFRICAN!!!!

Head of Secret Illegal Society Answers Member Questions

Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim, Esq.

Executive Director of the American Secret Society of Illegals;

1601 Pennsylvania Ave NW

Washington DC 2001

Ain't he handsome?

Today, Dr. Muhammed Kim goes online to answer ASSI member questions.

Our first question is from Idi Muhammed al Sack, a proud illegal of 13 years from Syria.

Mr. Al Sack said that he was waiting in the check out line of a gourmet supermarket paying for $330 of groceries, including many pastries, with food stamps, when the 10-year daughter of an American citizen in the line behind him started crying when her mother told her they couldn’t afford a quarter of what Mr. Al Sack was buying, especially desserts. Mr. Al Sack felt very aggrieved and wonders if he can sue anybody.

The answer, Mr. Al Sack, is I hope you had enough foresight to get the name and address of the mother, because you can certainly sue her as well as the store.

The store is obviously guilty of failing to provide users of food stamps, especially illegal aliens, with a zone of comfort to buy your caviar, wild salmon, chocolate mousse and other necessities of life without being harassed by citizens, who should be thankful that they only have to pay taxes for your foodstamps and that we don’t kick them out of the country … yet.

That lawsuit should be good for a $2 million settlement.

The mother obviously is guilty of fomenting anti-foreigner feeling in her daughter by not educating her that it is the duty of Americans to pay for foodstamps for foreigners, especially illegals. You should be able to get her house and all of her cars, except for one, and that daughter’s college fund. Congratulations, Mr Al Sack. We illegals must be eternally vigilant for ways to sue Americans.

And don’t worry, wink, wink, civil courts are forbidden to ask about the residency status of anyone suing. Isn’t this a great country, or what?

Our second question comes from Halldor Guojohnsen, a native of Iceland living illegally in the United States for six years. Mr. Guohohnsen writes that when he came to the U.S., the Icelandic currency was vastly overvalued and he was able to live like a king here. Now, with the collapse of the Icelandic government and his currency, he wonders if he must get a job?

No, no, no, Mr. Guojohnsen. The U.S. government is liable for failing to see that the Icelandic economic boom was really a classic financial bubble that would burst one day. They should have been converting your currency to gold and putting it aside for you.

You must first apply immediately for welfare, citing the reason that with your Icelandic fair skin that only knows the Artic sun, it is dangerous for you to go out into the streets of America even to look for work, much less hold a job that even forcing you to commute, will shine more deadly sun rays on you in a month that you would get in your entire lifetime in Iceland.

Once you are on welfare, we can set you up with a lawyer who will assist you in suing the American government for their flagrant disregard of the reckless behavior of Icelandic banks. Thank you.