2009 Presidential Ball

Welcome to the 2009 Presidential Ball

American Secret Society of Illegals

We cordially invite all members of the American Secret Society of Illegals (whose dues are paid up in full, of course) to our 2009 Presidential Ball to welcome the swearing in of Barak HUSSEIN Obama as the nation's 44th president.

We have secured a choice spot in the main ballroom of the Immigration and Customs Enforcement Washington D.C. headquarters.

We have rented out 200 ICE agents to act as security, and another 100 good-tempered ICE agents who have agreed to be handcuffed in posts scattered around the hall, bearing signs: "Waiting to be deported back to Europe/America, from whence my relatives came!"

Isn't that clever? They agreed to play along with our little joke that once we illegals take power, we will deport European Americans here legally back to their old continent, and African Americans to Africa. A few Native American ICE agents will wear signs agreeing to voluntary deportation back to Siberia, once the land bridge arises again.

Entry fee: $1,000 per ticket.

Barack and Michelle Obama GUARANTEED to make an appearance to salute America's illegals.

The ball opens at 10 p.m. and runs to 6 a.m., with liquor sold throughout. This is clearly illegal, but hey, ain't that what we all about?

Winning custom -- The Baby Orgy

This has the added benefit of sneaking two dozen of your infant relatives into the country at the same time!

Entertainment will be provided by Loni Wrendon, a Canadian who has tried to get her singing career going illegally in the United States for 14 years. Give her a round of applause!!!!!!!

EMCEE OF BALL - THE ESTIMABLE DR. JUAN MUHAMMED KIM

EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR - ASSI

OTHER MEMBERS OF ASSI'S EXECUTIVE BOARD IN THEIR BALL COSTUMES SO THAT YOU WILL KNOW THEM AND BE ABLE TO THANK THEM FOR ALL THEY HAVE DONE FOR ILLEGALS OVER THE YEARS