Emergency Session Set!!!

By:

Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim, Esq.
Executive Director

American Secret Society of Illegals

1601 Pennsylvania Ave. N.W. Suite 666

Washington D.C. 20001

I am happy to report that negotiators for the two factions within ASSI have now arrived in Washington D. C. and negotiations are expected to begin in earnest on Saturday, after Muslim prayers.

The issue is well know to all ASSI members.

Now that we are on the verge of all becoming legal thanks to President Obama, may the blessings of Allah be upon him, two of our most, uh, diverse, and, oh, vociferous groups, are demanding that ASSI's position on one of the hottest issues of modern society be settled immediately, even before the Immigration Reform Act is passed that will allow us each to bring in 10 to 20 relatives, in keeping with Democratic aspirations to cement a permanent liberal majority.

Since this is a secret site open only to ASSI members, we can talk openly of our contempt for the stupid Americans who invite us into their country that we will take over.

Before we do that, we must settle the question of whether marriage must be only between a man and a woman, or whether two people of the same gender can marry.

Now I, as executive director of ASSI, believe that the gulf is not so wide that we cannot bridge it.

The Muslims are demanding that not only all homosexuals and lesbians who want to get married be executed publicly after Friday services, but that all such people be executed even if they don't want to be married.

The Pink Wing of ASSI, of course, demands the right to marry and they have a slight aversion to the execution option that the Muslims offer.

These are minor, very minor differences.

Representing the Muslims are the honorable Muhammed Azzis Hussein, left, and Abdul the Camel Jockey Rajid, right.

These two estimable gentlemen will negotiate with me, and I trust, with the Pink Wing representative, the very famous and honorable Mr. Perez Hilton.

Mr. Hilton has kept his commitment to attend the negotiations even with the greatest story in Hollywood in a decade, the death of Michael Jackson.

This is a picture of Mr. Hilton.

Mr. Hussein has already had to be restrained once from "gutting Mr. Perez for the pig he is" and we urge both sides to remain calm as the negotiations get underway.

I will bring you news daily of the talks.

Thank you. Kisses to all ASSI members from Dr. Juan!

Emergency Session!

Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim, Esq., Executive Director

American Secret Society of Illegals

1601 Pennsylvania Ave N.W. 20001

We will hold an emergency session of ASSI on June 26, 2009 to discuss the proposal tabled by the Islamic Brothers of ASSI to execute all ASSI homosexual members who wish to marry.

Gay Paree division of ASSI strenuously objects.

The two sides are of nearly equal members.

This is not just an academic debate.

With the coming "immigration reform" of the great President Barack Obama, may the peace of Allah be upon him, both Muslim and Christian, we illegals are about to achieve our goal of all 42 million of us already here (how assiduously our supporters in government have downplayed our true numbers) will achieve legal status and immediately register, as ordered, as Democratic voters.

Once we do that, according to the agreement, the second part of the legalization will go through and we will all be able to bring in all of our brothers and sisters, parents and grandparents, and even in some cases, uncles and aunts, and cousins, cousins, cousins. Practically anyone we designate!

And they also will register as Democrats and faithfully pull the lever for Obama and his allies, assuring a permanent liberal Democrat majority in this country.

Even the Democratic Americans are too limited to understand that we within 10 years we will have 150 million former illegals and their allies as American citizens and able to write any law that we want, when we will begin putting native Americans first in the reservations that we long ago proposed for them, in Alaska and the far north Midwestern states, and finally expulsion.

But, shhhhh, not a word to one of our illegal advocates!

That is why we must have an emergency meeting to resolve this dispute between the Muslims and the homosexuals, to try and arrive at a dispute that won't split ASSI apart.

We will hold the meeting starting June 27, probably, given the difficulty of all arriving in Washington D.C. in time.

We will keep you posted.

Sincerely,

Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim, Esq.

SWINE FLU EVIL CONSPIRACY OF ANTI-ILLEGALS

AMERICAN SECRET SOCITY OF ILLEGALS

UNCOVERS CONSPIRACY TO SPREAD 

SWINE FLU IN MEXICO TO HALT ILLEGALS

By Dr. Juan Muhammed Kim, Esq.

Executive Director, American Secret Society of Illegals

1801 Pennsylvania Ave., Washington DC

RECENT NEWS STORY:

PHOENIX (Reuters) – A new strain of flu has stirred a heated debate in the United States about immigration, an emotional topic that is never far from the surface in this country of migrants.

I am here to tell you the truth. The Swine Flu hysteria is a last gasp attempt by the anti-illegal racists to try and stem the tide of Hispanics that are rightfully taking over the stolen territory of California and much of the rest of the Southwest.

So-called ‘illegal’ Hispanics are continually spreading out to the rest of the Ununited States as well, where they will soon form a majority bloc with many other illegal nationalities, including those most warlike of people, the Canadians.

The CIA, I can report authoritatively, has sown swine flu over the Mexico City area with crop dusters in the secret CIA airlines, Swine Airways.

Here is a picture of CIA pilots getting their final orders to carry out the first attack.

It has worked magnificently by stirring up anti-Mexican fears.

It has been the American Secret Society of Illegals, or ASSI, which lobbied successfully to get both the United Nations and then the U.S. government to change the name of this flu away from pigs to the innuculous designation consisting of letters and numbers.

We have identified the top three conspirators. In the first photo.

CIA deputy director of operations George Bancroft in on the left, and Mexican station chief Rudulfo Juarez is on the right. Notice that both are WHITE! E’nuf said.

We have been able to nip this panic in the bud but we must expect ever more desperate measures to halt the flaw of illegals, now that Obama has halted raids on employers that welcome illegals, and Obama is putting final touches on an immigration reform plan that will half of us voting Democrat by 2010 and the rest by 2012 – all illegals, not just Hispanics. Illegals from Australia, Britain, Poland, Romania, Canada as well as from Asia and the Middle East.

The Swine Flu panic has given us an idea of how to increase our numbers vastly.

We will lease planes from South American airlines and fill them with Hispanic with parachutes, fly low into the United States to avoid radar, then “sow” the land with illegals by dropping them near major cities all along the border in the United States. Love live the American Secret Society of Illegals!!!!

‘Closed the Border’ advocate Hector Alvarez, a legal Hispanic who became a U.S citizen and then betrayed his people, will no longer be involved in any anti-illegal activities.

As the accompanying photo shows, he “opened himself up” to us for re-education.

May the Ununited States of America live a long life!

Viva los Ununited States of America! Viva! Viva!

 To illegals only: You are permitted to buy at a special sales price: ”The Official Secret Handbook for Illegal Immigrants. Only $14.95 on Amazon, versus the $500 we charge in other countries. See:

 http://www.amazon.com/Official-Secret-Handbook-Illegal-Immigrants/dp/1438264313/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1221643147&sr=8-1